Leftover Bag Jokes
Leftover bags aren't funny. Not a laughing matter. But the fact is bags
are leftover, and that sucks. Being down about
leftover bags' leftoverness
isn't the best way to help do your part. Instead, cheer up, laugh
a little, and pickup some bags.
Q: How many leftoverbags does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, they're too busy screwing the planet.
Q: Why did the leftoverbag cross the road?
A: To get caught in the rain grate, washed down the sewer, through
the waste
treatment facility, into the river, kill a 200 year old snapping turtle,
flow into the ocean, wrap around the snout of a baby dolphin starving
it to
death and washing it to shore to rot, get picked up by a sea gull,
caught on
it's talon dropped in a parking lot, ran over by a car, get caught
on it's
exhaust pipe, till a bump releases it on the other side.
How many dead babies can you fit into a leftoverbag?
It depends on how full it is of dead puppies and kittens.
How many dead babies can you fit into a leftoverbag?
3
What's the difference between a leftoverbag and GW?
Nothing. They're both empty, worthless, a product of big oil, and
a threat
to our great nation.
How many Pollacks does it take to pick up a leftoverbag?
1
How do you find a leftoverbag in the spring time?
open your eyes
How do you keep leftoverbags from getting in trees?
QUIT LEAVING BAGS LEFTOVER YOU JERK!
How do you know your best friend is a jerk?
he leaves bags leftover
What's the difference between a leftoverbag and a Buddhist Monk?
Buddhist monks meditate...leftoverbags suffocate children.
How do you know if a leftoverbag is cheating at cards?
It's playing cards
What's a leftoverbags favorite season?
Global warming
What is a leftoverbags favorite meal?
your soul
Why do horses like leftoverbags?
because they are inherently evil and wretched beasts
How many leftoverbags will fit into a plane?
I don't know, ask Al Queda
2 leftoverbags walk into a bar. Bartender says "we don't server your
kind
here."
So the one leftoverbag looks at the other and they float out.
5 minutes later 4 leftoverbags walk into the same bar.
Barkeep says "We don't serve leftoverbags!"
The leftoverbags look at eachother, sigh, and leave.
5 minutes later 10 leftoverbags walk into the same bar.
The bartender says "I've said it twice! we don't serve your kind! Now get
out!"
10 minutes later 100 bags fille into the bar 1 by 1.
The bartender is pissed now. "ALRIGHT! THAT'S IT! I'VE TOLD YOU 3 TIMES
WE DON'T SERVE LEFTOVERBAGS! WHAT DO YOU EVEN WANT? LEFTOVERBAGS CAN'T
EVEN DRINK! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"
The first bag of the group takes a step forward and speaks.
"we've come to to tell you something."
'WELL WHAT IS IT?" demands the bartender, "TELL ME AND GET THE HELL
OUT OF
HERE!"
There is a brief pause and in unison 100 leftoverbags answered.
"We killed your family."
turned around and filed out the door.
